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His pledge to her:
i will kill the spiders. i will share my fries with you when you’ve finished all yours and are still hungry. i won’t ever pop my collar. i will never be rude to your tummy- when i hear it growl and gurgle. i promise to bend down and reply respectfully. i will eat the mushrooms when we order the supreme pizza. i will kiss the papercuts. and the door-slammed finger, and the counter-bumped hip. i’ll try my hardest not to get annoyed when you whisper questions and comments during movies. i will be the big spoon. i will let you win at wrestling, sometimes. other times i will not. i will go faster. harder. i will pull when you want. and tease you when you don’t. i will send you random texts and leave you silly gifts. not always. not on schedule. just whenever i want to. whenever i think you need one. or seven. i will check your tire pressure. and remind you to take your car in. i will hold your hand. i will love you. i will love you. i will love you.
I’m pretty sure I’ve reblogged this before, but it’s so perfect.
567,333 notes (via rafaell0 & atomos)
sorry I can’t go to school tomorrow I fractured my motivation
Guys I said this to my dad once he laughed so hard he let me stay home
224,123 notes (via whitewolfwinning & artsysauce)
once in kindergarten a girl asked me to write “super girl” on her arm since i was the only kid who could write so i wrote “shit” on her arm and i hid under the table for like 30 minutes then the teacher found me and yelled at me then called my parents and my dad laughed so hard he cried
134,630 notes (via punctualcucumber & thebatteur)
senior year of high school i had the battiest old lady for my ap lit class and we had to get up and present a poem and i totally forgot to memorize one so i got up in the front of the room and recited “hotel california” word for word with a straight face and everyone was like cracking up and the teacher gave me a hundred for being “insightful and poetic”
YOU CAN RECITE HOTEL CALIFORNIA WORD FOR WORD?
(Source: punkbunnies)
63,526 notes (via whitewolfwinning & punkbunnies)
[AGGRESSIVELY CARES FOR YOU FROM A DISTANCE BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW HOW TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER]
(Source: andyglassismymom)
55,951 notes (via story-of-a-ghost & andyglassismymom)
when I was like 7 I found my brother’s porn on his computer and it was this story about a girl and she went to this mechanics place but she didn’t have any money so she payed with like sex and then so I thought that was how you paid for everything so once we went to target and I started unbuttoning my pants and my mother started screaming
117,968 notes (via these-fading-scars & dallonjames-deactivated20110822)
I’m so done with ‘good things come to those who wait’, it’s time to go out and get shit done myself.
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